Behind Her Eyes Why Was David Controlling Theories Analysis

In Netflix’s psychological thriller *Behind Her Eyes*, David Collings emerges as a central figure whose charm masks a deeply manipulative and controlling nature. While the series culminates in a shocking twist involving astral projection and identity theft, much of the narrative tension stems from David’s dominance over his wife Adele and others around him. Understanding why David was so controlling requires more than surface-level interpretation—it demands a deep dive into psychological motivations, narrative design, and symbolic storytelling. This article analyzes the multifaceted reasons behind David’s behavior, drawing on clinical psychology, cult dynamics, and thematic structure to provide a comprehensive explanation.

The Psychology of Control: Narcissism and Coercive Power

David exhibits textbook traits of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), particularly grandiosity, lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. His control over Adele is not merely about possessiveness; it's rooted in an internal need to maintain superiority and emotional dominance. Psychologists often link such behaviors to early life trauma or insecure attachment styles, where individuals learn to equate love with control.

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in emotional regulation, notes:

“Control is rarely about the other person—it’s about the controller’s fear of losing power, autonomy, or self-image. In abusive relationships, control becomes a survival mechanism for the abuser.” — Dr. Laura Markham, Clinical Psychologist

In David’s case, his outwardly successful persona as a psychiatrist amplifies his ability to manipulate. He uses his professional knowledge to gaslight Adele, pathologizing her emotions and framing her distress as symptoms of mental instability. This duality—being both healer and tormentor—makes his control especially insidious.

Tip: When analyzing manipulative characters, look beyond overt aggression. Subtle tactics like isolation, guilt-tripping, and intellectual superiority are often more damaging.

Cult Dynamics and Emotional Entrapment

One of the most compelling interpretations of David’s control lies in the show’s subtle portrayal of cult-like indoctrination. From the moment Adele meets Rob (who is actually David in Robert’s body), she is drawn into a closed system governed by secrecy, ritual, and psychological dependency.

The “treehouse” sessions, meditation practices, and enforced silence mirror real-world cult recruitment strategies. Experts in coercive control, such as Dr. Janja Lalich, describe this process as “love bombing followed by isolation,” where initial affection gives way to increasing restrictions on freedom.

Adele’s gradual loss of agency reflects how victims in high-control groups are systematically cut off from support systems. David doesn’t just dominate her emotionally—he rewrites her reality. By convincing her that their shared practice is spiritual enlightenment, he disguises abuse as transcendence.

Key Cult-Like Tactics Used by David

Tactic	Example in Show	Purpose
Love Bombing	Rapid romantic escalation with Adele	Create instant emotional dependence
Isolation	Moving to a secluded home, limiting contact with friends	Break external support networks
Gaslighting	Claiming Adele is unstable or imagining things	Erode self-trust
Ritual Reinforcement	Daily meditation, treehouse meetings	Establish behavioral compliance
Fear of Consequences	Threats of being \"left behind\" spiritually	Maintain obedience through anxiety

The Body Swap Paradox: Control Beyond Identity

The revelation that David has been living in Robert’s body since adolescence adds a surreal layer to his controlling nature. It suggests that his need for dominance transcends physical form. Even without his original body, David maintains psychological supremacy—first over Robert, then over Adele.

This raises a disturbing theory: David’s control isn’t just about relationships—it’s about existence itself. By usurping Robert’s life, he demonstrates a god complex, believing he has the right to overwrite another person’s identity. His manipulation of Adele continues this pattern: she is not a partner but a project, a vessel to fulfill his vision of perfection.

The body swap also symbolizes the erasure of boundaries. Just as David invades Robert’s body, he invades Adele’s mind. There is no space—physical or mental—that remains untouched by his influence. This totalizing control reflects extreme psychopathy masked by intellect and charm.

Symbolism and Narrative Function of Control

Narratively, David’s control serves multiple purposes. First, it creates dramatic irony—the audience senses something is wrong long before Louise (the protagonist) uncovers the truth. Second, it critiques the blind trust society places in authority figures, especially those in caregiving roles like psychiatrists.

The show deliberately contrasts David’s polished exterior with his inner cruelty. His modern, minimalist home—clean lines, neutral tones—mirrors his desire for order and suppression of chaos. Yet beneath this aesthetic lies emotional rot. The house becomes a prison disguised as sanctuary.

Furthermore, David’s control underscores the theme of duality. The entire series hinges on the idea that appearances deceive. Just as Rob and David are one, so too are care and control, love and possession, healing and harm. The show challenges viewers to question how easily abuse can be disguised as benevolence when wielded by someone credible.

Mini Case Study: Adele’s Descent into Isolation

Consider Adele’s journey from free-spirited student to trapped housewife. Initially vibrant and independent, she meets Rob at a party—charmed by his quiet intensity. Their relationship accelerates quickly, fueled by late-night talks and intense intimacy. Within months, they’re married and living in a remote house.

At first, Adele believes she’s found true love. But soon, small restrictions appear: David discourages her from working, questions her friendships, and insists on daily meditation. When she expresses doubt, he frames it as a lack of commitment to their “spiritual path.” Over time, she stops questioning. She internalizes the belief that her discomfort is a personal failing.

This mirrors real-life cases of coercive control, where victims don’t recognize abuse until they’re deeply enmeshed. Like many survivors, Adele blames herself. It’s only through Louise’s outsider perspective that the pattern becomes visible—a testament to how effective psychological manipulation can be when cloaked in love and logic.

Actionable Checklist: Recognizing Coercive Control in Relationships

While David is an extreme fictional example, his tactics reflect real-world warning signs. Use this checklist to assess potential red flags in personal or observed relationships:

• Does the person isolate their partner from family or friends?
• Do they frequently dismiss or mock their partner’s feelings?
• Are decisions made unilaterally, with little input from the partner?
• Is there a pattern of rewriting past events to suit their narrative?
• Do they use professional status or intelligence to invalidate concerns?
• Is independence discouraged under the guise of protection or unity?
• Are there rituals or routines that feel mandatory rather than voluntary?

Tip: Trust your gut. If someone makes you feel confused, guilty, or small after interactions, it may be emotional manipulation—not miscommunication.

Frequently Asked Questions

Was David always controlling, or did he change over time?

David displayed controlling tendencies from adolescence. His takeover of Robert’s body at 15 reveals an early willingness to erase others’ identities for self-preservation. His methods evolved, but the core drive—to dominate and survive at any cost—remained consistent.

Could Adele have escaped David’s control?

Theoretically, yes—but only with external intervention. Victims of coercive control often lose the cognitive framework to leave on their own. Adele needed Louise’s investigation to break the illusion. This reflects real-world dynamics where third-party support is crucial for escape.

Is David’s behavior realistic, or is it exaggerated for drama?

While the astral projection element is fictional, David’s psychological manipulation is grounded in reality. Many domestic abusers use similar tactics: isolation, gaslighting, and emotional dependency. The show exaggerates the outcome but not the method.

Conclusion: Understanding Control to Prevent Its Influence

David’s control in *Behind Her Eyes* is not just a plot device—it’s a cautionary exploration of how charisma, intelligence, and authority can mask profound emotional predation. By dissecting his behavior through psychological, social, and narrative lenses, we gain tools to recognize similar patterns in real life.

The show ultimately warns against blind trust in seemingly stable figures. True safety lies not in appearances, but in transparency, equality, and mutual respect. As viewers, we can honor the story’s impact by staying vigilant, questioning power imbalances, and supporting those who may be silently struggling.

💬 Did David remind you of anyone in real life—or another character in fiction? Share your thoughts and analyses in the comments below.