Why Do Some People Find ASMR Videos Creepy Instead Of Relaxing

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) has surged in popularity over the past decade, with millions tuning in to whispering voices, tapping sounds, and soft brushing for relaxation, focus, or sleep. Yet, for a significant portion of viewers, these same stimuli provoke discomfort, unease, or even revulsion. Instead of tingles down the spine, they feel an unsettling chill — not from calm, but from creepiness. Why does something designed to soothe trigger such divergent reactions? The answer lies at the intersection of neuroscience, psychology, personality traits, and cultural context.

The Science Behind ASMR: What’s Supposed to Happen

ASMR is characterized by a pleasurable tingling sensation that typically begins at the scalp and moves down the neck and spine. It's often triggered by specific auditory or visual stimuli — gentle speech, crinkling paper, methodical hand movements, or personal attention scenarios like haircuts or medical exams. Functional MRI studies suggest that ASMR activates brain regions associated with reward, empathy, and social bonding, including the nucleus accumbens and the medial prefrontal cortex.

For those who experience it positively, ASMR can reduce heart rate, lower anxiety, and improve mood. A 2018 study published in PLOS ONE found that participants watching ASMR videos reported significant reductions in symptoms of chronic pain and depression. But while half the population may find comfort in a whispered book reading, the other half might switch off the video, muttering, “That felt weird.”

Why Reactions Diverge: The Brain on Alert vs. At Ease

One explanation for the “creepy” response lies in how the brain interprets intimacy and intention. Many ASMR triggers involve close personal attention — someone softly speaking into a microphone inches from their mouth, making eye contact through the lens, or simulating one-on-one care. To the ASMR-sensitive brain, this mimics nurturing human interaction. But to others, it crosses an invisible boundary, triggering the brain’s threat-detection system.

Dr. Nick Davis, a psychologist who has studied ASMR extensively, explains:

“ASMR content often blurs the line between social closeness and intrusion. For some, it feels like a trusted friend offering comfort. For others, it registers as an inappropriate or uninvited intimacy — which the brain flags as potentially dangerous.” — Dr. Nick Davis, Cognitive Psychologist, University of London

This discrepancy isn’t about being “overly sensitive.” It reflects fundamental differences in how individuals process social cues and sensory input.

Sensory Processing Sensitivity and Personality Traits

Research indicates that people who are more likely to enjoy ASMR tend to score higher on measures of openness to experience and sensitivity to environmental stimuli. These individuals often describe themselves as empathetic, introspective, and easily moved by art or music. They may also be more prone to synesthesia or have heightened auditory perception.

Conversely, those who find ASMR creepy often exhibit traits linked to vigilance or discomfort with ambiguous social signals. A 2020 study in PeerJ found that non-responders were more likely to associate ASMR triggers with manipulation or deception — interpreting a whisper not as soothing, but as secretive or manipulative.

Tip: If you find ASMR uncomfortable, don’t force it. Discomfort may stem from natural neurodivergence or past associations — both valid.

The Role of Misophonia and Sensory Aversion

Misophonia — a strong emotional reaction to specific sounds like chewing, breathing, or lip-smacking — may explain part of the aversion. While misophonia and ASMR are opposite phenomena (one causes distress, the other relief), they share a key feature: extreme sensitivity to particular auditory cues. Some researchers believe they exist on the same spectrum of sound-emotion reactivity.

A person with undiagnosed misophonia might react negatively to the very sounds central to ASMR — soft breathing, tongue clicks, or wet sounds — perceiving them as invasive or disrespectful. In this case, the “creepiness” isn’t about intent; it’s about involuntary physiological disgust.

Cultural and Contextual Cues: When Intimacy Feels Wrong

Not all discomfort with ASMR is neurological. Cultural norms shape what we consider appropriate behavior, especially around personal space and voice modulation. In many societies, whispering directly into someone’s ear is reserved for romantic partners or moments of secrecy. When a stranger on YouTube replicates that behavior, it violates expected social scripts.

Consider this scenario:

A college student, Mark, tries ASMR for insomnia. He selects a popular “whispered bedtime story” video. Within seconds, he feels tense. The host’s slow blinking, direct gaze, and hushed tone make him feel watched — not comforted. He closes the tab, disturbed. Later, he realizes the video reminded him of a former teacher whose behavior had always made him uneasy, though he couldn’t explain why.

This mini case study illustrates how personal history shapes perception. The same stimulus can evoke safety in one person and suspicion in another, depending on lived experience.

Gender, Power, and Perceived Intent

Another layer involves gender dynamics. Most ASMR creators are women performing acts of service — brushing hair, giving check-ups, folding clothes — in soft, submissive tones. For some viewers, particularly men, this dynamic can feel infantilizing or sexually suggestive, even if unintentional.

Meanwhile, female viewers may feel uneasy due to societal conditioning about trusting unfamiliar men offering personal attention. A male creator leaning close to the mic, staring intently, might unconsciously trigger warnings about predatory behavior.

These responses aren’t irrational. They reflect real-world experiences where intimacy has been weaponized or exploited. The brain doesn’t always distinguish between simulated and real threats.

Do’s and Don’ts: Navigating ASMR Without Discomfort

Do	Don’t
Start with non-human triggers (e.g., rain sounds, page turning)	Begin with intense personal attention videos if you’re new
Adjust volume to a comfortable level	Use headphones if close whispers feel intrusive
Try instrumental or ambient ASMR tracks	Force yourself to watch if you feel anxious
Watch during daylight hours to reduce unease	Watch before bed if it increases alertness
Explore creator intentions — many emphasize platonic care	Assume all ASMR is flirtatious or manipulative

How to Explore ASMR More Comfortably: A Step-by-Step Guide

If you’re curious about ASMR but consistently find it creepy, a gradual approach can help recalibrate your response. Here’s a structured timeline:

1. Week 1: Focus on object-based sounds. Try videos featuring tapping on wood, crumpling paper, or water droplets. Avoid human voices and faces entirely.
2. Week 2: Add neutral vocalizations. Choose clips with soft humming, typing with background murmurs, or bilingual speakers where you don’t understand the language — reducing emotional interpretation.
3. Week 3: Introduce indirect attention. Watch videos where the creator faces sideways or focuses on tasks like painting or organizing, minimizing direct eye contact.
4. Week 4: Test personal attention scenarios. Sample a few highly-rated, platonic-focused videos (e.g., “virtual haircut”) at low volume, observing your body’s response without judgment.
5. Ongoing: Reflect and adjust. Keep a brief journal noting which elements felt calming or disturbing. Use this to refine your preferences.

This method allows the nervous system to acclimate slowly, reducing the likelihood of triggering defensive reactions.

Expert Insight: Understanding the Divide

Neuroscientist Dr. Angela Wu, who researches auditory-emotional processing, offers clarity:

“The divide between ‘soothing’ and ‘creepy’ in ASMR isn’t just preference — it’s predictive coding in action. Your brain constantly predicts what sensory input means based on past experience. If your history includes betrayal in quiet, intimate moments, your brain will interpret a whisper as a warning, not warmth.” — Dr. Angela Wu, Neuroaffective Scientist, Stanford University

She emphasizes that neither response is wrong. Both are adaptive. The brain prioritizes survival over comfort, so discomfort in ambiguous situations can be protective.

FAQ: Common Questions About ASMR and Creepiness

Can you learn to like ASMR if you initially find it creepy?

Some people can, with gradual exposure and mindset shifts. Others never develop a positive response — and that’s normal. ASMR isn’t universally effective, much like meditation or certain types of music.

Is finding ASMR creepy a sign of trauma or anxiety?

Not necessarily. While past experiences can influence reactions, many psychologically healthy individuals simply have different sensory thresholds or social interpretations. Disliking ASMR doesn’t indicate dysfunction.

Are certain ASMR triggers less likely to feel creepy?

Yes. Non-vocal triggers like nature sounds, keyboard typing, or kinetic sand are generally perceived as more neutral. Videos labeled “no talking” or “ambient” often appeal to skeptics.

Conclusion: Respecting Diverse Sensory Experiences

ASMR reveals a profound truth about human perception: there is no universal standard for comfort. What feels like a sanctuary to one person can feel like a violation to another. Rather than dismissing either reaction, we should acknowledge the complexity of sensory and emotional processing.

For creators, this means being mindful of presentation — offering disclaimers, avoiding overly intimate framing, and diversifying content. For viewers, it means honoring your own boundaries without guilt. And for society, it’s a reminder that well-being is deeply personal.

💬 Have you experienced the divide between ASMR comfort and creepiness? Share your story in the comments — your insight could help others feel less alone in their reaction.