Why Do Some People Hate ASMR And Find It Irritating Instead

ASMR—Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response—has gained a massive following over the past decade, with millions of viewers seeking out whispering voices, tapping sounds, and gentle hand movements for relaxation and sleep aid. Yet, for every person who experiences soothing tingles down their spine, there’s another who feels deeply uncomfortable, irritated, or even repulsed by the same stimuli. This stark contrast raises an important question: Why do some people hate ASMR so intensely?

The answer lies not in simple taste but in a complex interplay of neurology, psychology, and sensory processing. While ASMR is often celebrated as a universal tool for stress relief, its effects are far from uniform. For certain individuals, what others describe as calming can feel invasive, grating, or downright anxiety-inducing. Understanding this reaction requires unpacking how our brains interpret sound, touch, and social cues—and why those interpretations vary so widely.

The Science Behind ASMR Discomfort

ASMR typically involves soft-spoken voices, delicate sounds like brushing or tapping, and slow, deliberate visual movements. These stimuli are designed to trigger a pleasurable, tingling sensation that begins in the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and spine. However, neuroimaging studies suggest that people who dislike ASMR may process these auditory and visual cues differently.

Research published in the journal Social Neuroscience indicates that individuals who experience positive ASMR responses show increased activity in brain regions associated with emotional regulation, empathy, and reward processing—such as the medial prefrontal cortex and nucleus accumbens. In contrast, those who report irritation show heightened activation in areas linked to threat detection and aversion, including the amygdala and insular cortex.

This neurological divergence suggests that ASMR isn’t simply a matter of preference—it can trigger genuine physiological discomfort. For some, the whispering mimics the sound of someone speaking too closely, activating personal space boundaries. The repetitive tapping might resemble the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, which evolutionary psychology suggests humans are hardwired to find distressing due to its acoustic similarity to primate warning screams.

“ASMR isn’t universally soothing because human sensory systems evolved to prioritize survival over comfort. What one brain interprets as intimacy, another registers as intrusion.” — Dr. Lena Patel, Cognitive Neuroscientist, University of Edinburgh

Pickle Brain Theory and Misophonia: When Sounds Trigger Anger

One of the most compelling explanations for ASMR aversion ties into a condition known as misophonia—a disorder characterized by extreme emotional reactions to specific sounds, often referred to as “trigger sounds.” Common triggers include chewing, breathing, pen clicking, and yes, whispering—all staples of popular ASMR content.

Misophonia sufferers don’t just find these sounds annoying; they provoke intense anger, anxiety, or panic. Brain imaging studies reveal that when exposed to trigger sounds, individuals with misophonia exhibit abnormal connectivity between the auditory cortex and the anterior insular cortex, a region involved in emotional processing. This creates a feedback loop where the brain perceives innocuous sounds as threats.

While not everyone who dislikes ASMR has clinical misophonia, many exhibit subclinical sensitivities. A 2020 study from Newcastle University found that nearly 20% of non-ASMR responders reported strong negative emotional reactions to whisper-heavy videos, describing feelings of agitation, unease, or even rage. This phenomenon has been informally dubbed “pickle brain” online—a term used to describe the sudden mental discomfort or cognitive dissonance triggered by certain ASMR stimuli.

Tip: If ASMR makes you feel agitated, it’s not just in your head—it could be a sign of heightened auditory sensitivity. Avoid forcing exposure, as repeated irritation may reinforce negative associations.

Social and Psychological Triggers

Beyond biology, psychological and social factors play a significant role in ASMR aversion. Many ASMR videos simulate intimate scenarios—personal attention, close proximity, gentle grooming behaviors—often delivered through direct-to-camera eye contact and hushed tones. For some viewers, this mimicry of closeness can feel manipulative, overly familiar, or emotionally overwhelming.

People with social anxiety or attachment-related trauma may perceive these simulated interactions as boundary violations rather than comforting. The lack of reciprocity—watching someone act kindly without being able to respond—can create a sense of helplessness or emotional dissonance. Others may associate the whispering with secretive or passive-aggressive communication, especially if they’ve experienced such dynamics in relationships.

Cultural context also matters. In some societies, speaking softly or avoiding direct confrontation is seen as evasive or insincere. Individuals raised in environments that value assertiveness and clarity may interpret ASMR’s subdued tone as artificial or condescending.

Common Psychological Reasons for ASMR Irritation

• Perceived invasion of personal space: Whispering can simulate someone standing too close.
• Unresolved trauma: Soothing tones may remind individuals of manipulative caregiving figures.
• Social discomfort: Simulated intimacy without mutual engagement feels unnatural.
• Cognitive dissonance: The exaggerated gentleness clashes with expectations of authentic interaction.

Personality and Sensory Processing Differences

Not all reactions to ASMR stem from pathology. Personality traits and sensory processing styles significantly influence whether someone enjoys or detests the experience. Psychologists have identified a trait called \"sensory processing sensitivity\" (SPS), present in about 20% of the population, which makes individuals more attuned to subtle environmental stimuli.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) often enjoy ASMR—but not always. Some HSPs report feeling overwhelmed by the very sounds meant to relax them. The issue isn’t the content itself but the intensity of perception. For these individuals, even gentle stimuli can become overstimulating when layered or prolonged.

Additionally, personality dimensions like extroversion and openness play a role. A 2018 study in PeerJ found that ASMR responders scored higher on agreeableness and openness to experience, while non-responders were more likely to score high on neuroticism and sensory avoidance. This suggests that people who prefer structured, predictable environments may find ASMR’s unpredictability and emotional ambiguity unsettling.

Personality Trait	Likely ASMR Response	Reason
High Openness	Positive	More receptive to novel sensory experiences
High Neuroticism	Negative	Prone to anxiety in ambiguous social contexts
Sensory Sensitivity	Mixed	May enjoy or be overwhelmed depending on stimulus control
Extroversion	Negative	Less inclined toward introspective, low-stimulation content

Real-Life Example: Sarah’s Experience with ASMR Aversion

Sarah, a 34-year-old project manager from Toronto, first encountered ASMR during a sleepless night. Hoping to quiet her racing thoughts, she clicked on a popular video featuring a woman gently brushing a microphone while whispering affirmations. Within seconds, her shoulders tensed.

“It wasn’t just that I didn’t like it,” she recalls. “I actually felt violated. The whispering sounded like someone was talking behind my back. I had to turn it off immediately.”

Over time, Sarah noticed a pattern: any video with close-up faces, soft speech, or repetitive tapping triggered a similar reaction. She later learned she has mild misophonia, particularly sensitive to mouth and breath sounds. What others described as “tingles” felt to her like “crawling skin.”

Her experience highlights a crucial point: disliking ASMR isn’t a failure to relax or a lack of imagination. For people like Sarah, the brain interprets these stimuli as emotionally or sensorially threatening—no matter how benign the intent.

How to Navigate ASMR in Shared Spaces

Given ASMR’s popularity, many people encounter it in workplaces, public transit, or shared living spaces. For those who find it irritating, managing exposure is key. Here’s a practical checklist for minimizing discomfort:

📋 **ASMR Irritation Management Checklist**

1. Use noise-canceling headphones or earplugs in communal areas where ASMR is played.
2. Politely communicate your sensitivity to roommates or colleagues.
3. Curate your digital environment—mute ASMR creators on social media platforms.
4. Replace triggering audio with neutral background noise (e.g., white noise, ambient music).
5. Practice grounding techniques if accidental exposure causes anxiety (e.g., deep breathing, tactile focus).

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you develop a tolerance to ASMR if you initially dislike it?

Some people report growing accustomed to ASMR over time, especially if they approach it gradually and choose less intense formats (e.g., nature sounds over whispering). However, others find their aversion remains consistent. Forcing exposure is not recommended, as it may increase stress rather than reduce it.

Is disliking ASMR a sign of a mental health issue?

No. While conditions like misophonia or sensory processing disorder can explain strong reactions, many mentally healthy individuals simply don’t enjoy ASMR. Personal preference, neurological wiring, and life experiences all contribute—none of which indicate dysfunction.

Are certain types of ASMR less likely to cause irritation?

Yes. Non-vocal forms of ASMR—such as tapping on wood, crinkling paper, or visual triggers like soap carving—tend to be less polarizing. People who dislike whispering or personal attention themes often find object-focused ASMR more neutral or even enjoyable.

Conclusion: Respecting Diverse Sensory Experiences

ASMR is not a one-size-fits-all phenomenon. Its power to soothe some reveals the brain’s remarkable capacity for finding calm in subtle stimuli. But the equal strength of aversion in others underscores a deeper truth: human sensory and emotional landscapes are profoundly varied. What feels like care to one person can feel like intrusion to another.

Rather than viewing ASMR dislike as a quirk or deficiency, we should recognize it as part of natural neurodiversity. Just as we accommodate different dietary needs or work styles, we can learn to respect differing auditory and emotional thresholds. Whether you’re an ASMR enthusiast or someone who hits pause at the first whisper, understanding the roots of these reactions fosters empathy in an increasingly sensory-saturated world.

🚀 Take action: Share this article to help normalize sensory differences. Have you experienced ASMR irritation? Comment below with your story—your insight could help someone feel less alone.