Why Do Some People Hate ASMR And Find It Uncomfortable Or Irritating

ASMR—Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response—has gained widespread popularity for its calming effects, with millions turning to whispering voices, tapping sounds, and gentle hand movements for relaxation and sleep. Yet, for a significant number of people, the same stimuli provoke discomfort, irritation, or even intense aversion. Rather than being simply a matter of personal taste, this reaction often stems from neurological, psychological, and physiological factors that make ASMR not just unappealing but actively distressing.

Understanding why some individuals dislike or feel disturbed by ASMR requires looking beyond surface-level preferences. It involves examining how our brains process sound, interpret social cues, and regulate emotional responses. For those who experience discomfort, their reactions are valid and rooted in real sensory experiences—not mere stubbornness or lack of openness.

The Neurological Basis of ASMR Discomfort

One of the most compelling explanations for ASMR aversion lies in brain function and sensory processing. Research into misophonia—a condition characterized by strong negative reactions to specific sounds such as chewing, breathing, or whispering—reveals overlapping triggers with common ASMR content. People with misophonia show heightened activity in the anterior insular cortex, a region involved in emotional regulation and self-awareness, when exposed to trigger sounds.

A 2017 study published in Current Biology found that individuals with misophonia exhibit abnormal connectivity between the auditory cortex and limbic system, leading to an exaggerated emotional response to certain sounds. Since many ASMR videos feature soft speech, lip smacking, or close-up mouth noises, these can inadvertently activate the same neural pathways that cause distress in misophonic listeners.

“People who react negatively to ASMR aren’t being dramatic—they’re experiencing a real neurological conflict between expected relaxation and perceived threat.” — Dr. Jennifer Jo Brout, Sensory Processing Expert

This means that what one person finds soothing, another may perceive as intrusive or threatening. The brain interprets subtle auditory cues not as signs of intimacy or care, but as violations of personal space or potential danger, triggering a fight-or-flight response instead of calm.

Psychological and Social Triggers Behind Aversion

Beyond neurology, psychological associations play a major role in ASMR discomfort. Many ASMR videos simulate intimate scenarios: a personal hair appointment, a whispered conversation, or a one-on-one medical exam. While these settings are designed to foster closeness and comfort, they can also evoke feelings of vulnerability or boundary violation in viewers who associate such proximity with anxiety, past trauma, or social awkwardness.

For example, someone who has experienced unwanted attention or invasive behavior may interpret soft-spoken tones and focused attention as manipulative or overly familiar. The performer’s deliberate eye contact or slow hand movements—intended to be calming—can feel performative or even predatory to sensitive viewers.

Tip: If ASMR makes you anxious, avoid videos with simulated personal attention (e.g., ear cleaning, scalp massage). Opt instead for object-focused content like page turning or tapping.

Cultural context also influences perception. In some societies, whispering is associated with secrecy or gossip, while sustained eye contact outside familial or romantic relationships may be considered inappropriate. These learned associations shape how individuals interpret ASMR content, sometimes transforming intended serenity into unease.

Sensory Overload and Personality Differences

Not all aversion to ASMR is tied to trauma or misophonia. Some people simply have lower tolerance for sensory input due to their natural neurotype. Individuals on the autism spectrum, those with ADHD, or people with high sensory processing sensitivity (HSP) may find ASMR overwhelming rather than relaxing.

HSPs, estimated to make up about 20% of the population, process stimuli more deeply and are more easily overstimulated by sound, light, and emotion. For them, the layered audio design of ASMR—whispers layered over crinkling paper or brushing sounds—can create cognitive clutter rather than clarity.

Likewise, people with ADHD may struggle to focus on ASMR because the slow pace and repetitive nature conflict with their need for stimulation. Instead of inducing calm, the monotony can amplify restlessness, making the experience frustrating.

Personality/Trait	Reaction to ASMR	Why It Happens
Misophonia	Strong irritation or anger	Neural hypersensitivity to soft oral sounds
Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)	Overwhelm or anxiety	Deep processing of sensory input
Autism Spectrum	Discomfort or confusion	Differing social and sensory interpretation
Introverts (some)	Feeling intruded upon	Simulated closeness feels invasive
General anxiety	Increased tension	Perceived unpredictability of triggers

Real-Life Experience: When ASMR Triggers Anxiety

Take the case of Mark, a 34-year-old software developer diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. He first tried ASMR after reading about its benefits for insomnia. He selected a popular video featuring a woman softly brushing a microphone while whispering affirmations. Within seconds, his heart rate increased. The whispering felt “too close,” as if someone were speaking directly into his ear without permission. The rhythmic brushing became grating, almost like fingernails on a chalkboard.

“I didn’t expect to feel so agitated,” Mark said. “It wasn’t just that I didn’t like it—I felt trapped, like I had to keep listening to prove I wasn’t overreacting. But my body was screaming to turn it off.”

After several similar attempts, Mark realized ASMR wasn’t a relaxation tool for him. Instead, he found relief in ambient nature sounds and instrumental music with consistent rhythm. His experience highlights a crucial point: not all relaxation techniques work universally, and discomfort should not be dismissed as resistance or misunderstanding.

Common Misconceptions About ASMR Haters

There’s a tendency among ASMR enthusiasts to label critics as “closed-minded” or “just not getting it.” This dismissiveness overlooks the legitimacy of adverse reactions. Disliking ASMR is not the same as disliking meditation or yoga; it can involve genuine distress akin to motion sickness or vertigo.

• Misconception: “If you don’t like ASMR, you just haven’t found the right video.”
  Reality: For people with misophonia or sensory sensitivities, no amount of tweaking will make whispering tolerable.
• Misconception: “ASMR is harmless, so there’s no reason to hate it.”
  Reality: Harmless intent doesn’t negate harmful impact. Triggering anxiety is not benign for those affected.
• Misconception: “People who hate ASMR are just annoyed by trends.”
  Reality: Emotional and physiological reactions go far beyond trend fatigue.

Respecting individual differences in sensory experience is essential. Just as we accommodate varied dietary needs or lighting preferences, we should acknowledge that auditory comfort is not one-size-fits-all.

How to Navigate ASMR If You Find It Irritating

If you’ve tried ASMR and found it unpleasant, you’re not broken or deficient. You may simply be wired differently. However, if you're open to exploring alternatives or minimizing discomfort in shared environments (like co-workers using ASMR headphones), consider the following steps:

1. Identify your triggers: Is it whispering? Mouth sounds? Close-up visuals? Pinpointing the source helps you avoid it and understand your reaction.
2. Try non-vocal ASMR: Focus on visual or object-based content—tapping, folding towels, or kinetic sand—without voiceovers.
3. Use noise-canceling headphones strategically: If others around you are playing ASMR, use white noise or instrumental music to buffer unwanted sound leakage.
4. Explore alternative relaxation methods: Breathwork, binaural beats (non-ASMR), guided imagery, or progressive muscle relaxation may offer similar benefits without the triggers.
5. Communicate your boundaries: If someone plays ASMR aloud near you, it’s okay to politely request they use headphones or switch to neutral audio.

Checklist: Responding to ASMR Discomfort

• ☑ Acknowledge your reaction without judgment
• ☑ Identify whether discomfort is auditory, visual, or socially triggered
• ☑ Rule out misophonia or sensory processing issues with a specialist if reactions are severe
• ☑ Experiment with non-traditional relaxation tools
• ☑ Set boundaries in shared spaces regarding sound exposure
• ☑ Avoid self-blame—your nervous system responds as it’s wired to

Frequently Asked Questions

Can disliking ASMR be a sign of a medical condition?

While disliking ASMR isn’t a diagnosis in itself, strong negative reactions—especially to soft sounds like whispering or eating—may indicate misophonia. This condition is increasingly recognized by audiologists and mental health professionals. If your reactions interfere with daily life, consider consulting an audiologist or therapist specializing in sensory disorders.

Is there a link between hating ASMR and being less empathetic?

No. There is no scientific evidence linking ASMR aversion to empathy levels. In fact, many people who dislike ASMR are highly empathetic and emotionally attuned—they may simply process intimacy and sound differently. Empathy manifests in many forms, not all of which align with ASMR’s aesthetic.

Why do some ASMR videos make me feel creeped out?

This sensation—often called \"ASMR creep\"—occurs when the simulated intimacy of a video feels inappropriate or artificial. Factors include the performer’s tone, gaze, or scenario (e.g., fake medical exams). Your brain may interpret these cues as socially transgressive, triggering mild alarm even if you can’t pinpoint why.

Conclusion: Respecting Diverse Sensory Experiences

ASMR is not a universal language of relaxation. For some, it’s a nightly ritual that eases anxiety and invites sleep. For others, it’s an assault on their senses, evoking stress rather than peace. Both responses are valid. Recognizing this duality fosters greater empathy in how we discuss wellness trends and share media in communal spaces.

Rather than insisting everyone “give ASMR a chance,” we should normalize opting out without explanation. We should also support research into sensory diversity, ensuring that relaxation tools evolve to meet varied neurological needs. The goal isn’t universal adoption—it’s personalized well-being.

💬 Have you experienced discomfort with ASMR? Share your story in the comments—your insight could help others feel less alone.