Why Do Some People Hate ASMR And Others Find It Relaxing

In recent years, ASMR—Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response—has exploded in popularity across platforms like YouTube and TikTok. Millions watch videos of whispering, tapping, page-turning, or gentle hand movements to trigger a calming, tingling sensation that starts at the scalp and moves down the spine. For many, it’s a powerful tool for relaxation, sleep, and stress relief. Yet, just as many viewers report irritation, discomfort, or even anger when exposed to the same stimuli. Why does ASMR evoke such polarized reactions? The answer lies in neuroscience, personality traits, auditory sensitivity, and even cultural context.

The Science Behind ASMR: What Happens in the Brain?

ASMR is not just a trendy internet fad—it has measurable effects on the brain and nervous system. Functional MRI studies have shown that individuals who experience ASMR exhibit increased activity in regions associated with emotional regulation, empathy, and reward processing, including the medial prefrontal cortex and nucleus accumbens. These areas are also activated during social bonding, affectionate touch, and mindfulness practices.

At the same time, there's a noticeable decrease in activity in the amygdala—the brain’s fear center—suggesting a physiological basis for the deep relaxation ASMR can induce. This neural pattern mirrors what occurs during meditation or slow breathing exercises, supporting claims that ASMR helps reduce anxiety and improve mood.

However, not all brains respond the same way. For those who dislike ASMR, the same soft whispers or repetitive sounds may be perceived as intrusive or even threatening. This could stem from hyperacusis (increased sensitivity to sound), misophonia (strong negative reactions to specific sounds), or simply an overactive default mode network, which can make quiet, repetitive stimuli feel unnerving rather than soothing.

“ASMR isn’t universally relaxing because our brains are wired differently—not just in structure, but in how we process intimacy, attention, and sound.” — Dr. Giulia Poerio, Cognitive Neuroscientist, University of Essex

Personality and Sensory Processing Differences

Research suggests that people who enjoy ASMR tend to score higher on personality traits like openness to experience and agreeableness. They often describe themselves as highly empathetic, introspective, and sensitive to environmental stimuli. These individuals may be more prone to absorbing subtle cues—tone of voice, visual details, rhythm—which are central to effective ASMR triggers.

Conversely, those who dislike ASMR frequently report being easily distracted by background noise or feeling “creeped out” by close-up personal attention, even when simulated. Some find the intimate tone of whispering or roleplay scenarios inappropriate or manipulative. Others associate the sounds with passive-aggressive behavior or find them reminiscent of condescending tones used in real-life interactions.

Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) plays a crucial role. People high in SPS are more attuned to subtleties in their environment, which can make ASMR deeply pleasurable—but it can also make certain stimuli overwhelming. For instance, someone might love gentle tapping sounds but react negatively to mouth noises like lip-smacking or chewing, which are common in mukbang-style ASMR content.

Tip: If you're new to ASMR, start with non-vocal triggers like brushing, crinkling paper, or typing sounds before moving to whisper-based content.

The Role of Misophonia and Sound Aversion

A significant reason why some people hate ASMR lies in a condition known as misophonia—a strong emotional reaction to specific sounds, often involving the mouth or repetitive actions. Common triggers include chewing, slurping, sniffing, or soft speaking—all of which are staples in ASMR videos.

Misophonia isn't just about annoyance; it can provoke intense feelings of rage, panic, or disgust. For these individuals, listening to ASMR isn't merely unpleasant—it can feel like an assault on their senses. Brain imaging studies show that people with misophonia have heightened connectivity between the auditory cortex and the anterior insular cortex, the area responsible for emotional processing. This means their brains link certain sounds directly to threat responses, bypassing rational evaluation.

Because ASMR creators often use eating sounds, breathing, or tongue clicks to elicit tingles, they may unknowingly trigger distress in viewers with misophonia. This creates a paradox: the very features designed to relax one group can deeply upset another.

ASMR Element	Relaxing For	Potentially Irritating For
Soft whispering	Those seeking intimacy and calm	People with sound sensitivity or trauma
Mouth sounds (licking, sipping)	Fans of “cringe ASMR” or mukbang hybrids	Individuals with misophonia
Tapping or scratching	Listeners who respond to rhythmic patterns	Those with ADHD or sensory overload
Personal attention roleplays	Viewers craving emotional connection	People uncomfortable with simulated intimacy

Cultural and Psychological Factors Influencing Perception

Attitudes toward ASMR also vary across cultures and personal backgrounds. In some societies, direct eye contact, soft-spoken communication, or personal care rituals are seen as nurturing and comforting. In others, they may be interpreted as invasive or overly familiar.

For example, a video where an ASMRtist pretends to give a haircut or apply makeup might feel therapeutic to someone who associates grooming with self-care. But to another viewer, especially one who has experienced control or boundary violations, the same scenario could evoke discomfort or distrust.

Additionally, generational differences play a role. Younger audiences, raised with digital intimacy through video calls and virtual friendships, may be more open to simulated personal interactions. Older viewers might find the format artificial or awkward, struggling to suspend disbelief in the same way.

There’s also a stigma attached to enjoying ASMR. Some dismiss it as “weird” or “creepy,” particularly when content involves roleplays like doctor visits or spa treatments. This bias can influence perception—even if someone might physiologically benefit from ASMR, social judgment may prevent them from giving it a fair try.

Mini Case Study: Two Roommates, Opposite Reactions

Consider the case of Maya and Jordan, college roommates sharing an apartment. Maya suffers from chronic insomnia and discovered ASMR six months ago. She listens to 20-minute-long ear massage roleplays every night before bed and reports falling asleep 40% faster, with fewer nighttime awakenings.

Jordan, however, cannot stand the same videos. He describes the whispering as “like someone breathing into your ear during a horror movie.” After accidentally hearing one while studying, he felt anxious and distracted for hours. A visit to an audiologist revealed mild misophonia, triggered primarily by oral sounds.

Instead of dismissing each other’s experiences, they worked out a schedule: Maya uses noise-canceling headphones after 8 PM, and Jordan listens to instrumental lo-fi beats during study sessions. Their solution highlights a key truth—ASMR isn’t inherently good or bad. Its impact depends on individual neurology and context.

How to Find ASMR That Works for You (Or Know When to Walk Away)

If you're curious about ASMR but unsure where to start—or if past attempts left you irritated—consider this step-by-step guide to navigating the landscape safely and effectively.

1. Assess your sound sensitivities. Reflect on whether certain everyday sounds bother you (e.g., chewing, pen clicking). If so, avoid content featuring those triggers.
2. Start with instrumental or object-based ASMR. Try videos focused on tapping wood, folding towels, or rain sounds without vocal elements.
3. Use headphones and low volume. High volume can overwhelm even neutral sounds. Begin quietly and increase only if needed.
4. Experiment with different creators. Tone, pacing, and accent matter. One person’s soothing whisper might be another’s irritant.
5. Set a time limit. Limit initial exposure to 10–15 minutes. Stop immediately if you feel tense or agitated.
6. Track your response. Note changes in mood, heart rate, or focus afterward to identify patterns.

Tip: Pair ASMR with dim lighting and a consistent bedtime routine to enhance its relaxing effects.

ASMR Checklist: Is It Right for You?

• ☐ I’m generally open to new sensory experiences
• ☐ I don’t have strong negative reactions to soft sounds
• ☐ I struggle with stress, anxiety, or trouble sleeping
• ☐ I can use headphones in a quiet environment
• ☐ I’m willing to experiment without judgment

If most of these apply, ASMR may be worth exploring. If not, that’s perfectly valid. Your sensory preferences are part of your unique neurological makeup.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can ASMR be harmful?

For most people, ASMR is safe and beneficial. However, those with misophonia, PTSD related to personal space violations, or severe anxiety may find certain content triggering. Always prioritize emotional safety and discontinue use if discomfort arises.

Do you need to feel “tingles” to benefit from ASMR?

No. While the characteristic “brain tingle” is a hallmark of ASMR for many, others experience relaxation without physical sensations. Reduced heart rate, mental calm, and improved focus are valuable outcomes regardless of tingles.

Why do some ASMR videos feel creepy?

The intimacy of ASMR—whispers, eye contact, roleplay—mimics close personal interactions. For some, this feels comforting. For others, especially without clear context, it can seem unnatural or intrusive. Creator tone and presentation greatly influence this perception.

Conclusion: Respecting Diverse Sensory Experiences

The divide between loving and hating ASMR isn’t a matter of preference alone—it reflects fundamental differences in brain function, personality, and lived experience. There’s no universal rule for what soothes or stresses the human mind. What brings profound peace to one person might unsettle another, and both reactions are equally valid.

Rather than debating whether ASMR is “good” or “bad,” we should embrace its complexity. For those who benefit, it offers a drug-free path to relaxation and better sleep. For those who don’t, understanding the reasons can reduce frustration and foster empathy.

💬 Have you experienced ASMR—positively or negatively? Share your story in the comments. Your insight could help others navigate this nuanced world with greater awareness and respect.