Why Do Some People Hate ASMR Sounds While Others Find Them Deeply Relaxing

ASMR — Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response — has exploded in popularity over the past decade. Millions of people watch videos featuring whispering, tapping, crinkling, and gentle hand movements to trigger a tingling sensation that begins at the scalp and travels down the spine. For many, it's a powerful tool for relaxation, sleep, and stress relief. Yet, just as many report feeling irritated, anxious, or even repulsed by the same stimuli. Why does something so soothing for one person provoke such strong negative reactions in another?

The answer lies at the intersection of neuroscience, personality traits, sensory processing, and even cultural context. Understanding this divide isn’t just about curiosity — it reveals how individual differences shape our experiences of sound, touch, and emotional regulation.

The Science Behind ASMR: What Happens in the Brain?

When someone experiences ASMR, functional MRI studies show increased activity in brain regions associated with emotion, empathy, and social connection — particularly the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) and the nucleus accumbens, which are involved in reward processing. Simultaneously, areas linked to stress and arousal, like the amygdala, tend to quiet down.

This neurological pattern suggests ASMR may function as a form of \"social safety signal.\" The soft-spoken voices, careful movements, and intimate attention mimic nurturing behaviors — like a parent brushing a child’s hair or a doctor performing a gentle exam. These cues can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, slowing heart rate and promoting calm.

However, not all brains interpret these signals the same way. For those who dislike ASMR, the same auditory triggers might be perceived not as comforting but as intrusive or unnerving. The brain may misread soft whispers as secretive or threatening, especially if someone is already hypervigilant due to anxiety or sensory sensitivities.

“ASMR taps into primal social bonding mechanisms. But when those cues don’t align with a person’s internal sense of safety, they can backfire.” — Dr. Nick Davis, Cognitive Psychologist and ASMR Researcher

Sensory Processing Differences: The Role of Personality and Neurodiversity

One of the most significant predictors of ASMR response is an individual’s sensory processing style. People with high sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) — often referred to as being “highly sensitive” — are more likely to experience ASMR. This trait, present in about 20% of the population, involves deeper cognitive processing of stimuli and heightened emotional reactivity.

Conversely, individuals on the autism spectrum or with misophonia — a condition where certain sounds trigger intense anger or disgust — are more likely to react negatively to ASMR. Common ASMR triggers like lip-smacking, chewing, or repetitive tapping can be deeply distressing for them.

A 2020 study published in *Scientific Reports* found that people who dislike ASMR report higher levels of neuroticism and lower openness to experience — two key dimensions in the Big Five personality model. Those with higher neuroticism may perceive soft, unpredictable sounds as unsettling, while low openness correlates with resistance to novel or unconventional stimuli.

Tip: If you’re new to ASMR, start with neutral triggers like page-turning or rain sounds before trying roleplays or whispering.

Psychological and Emotional Triggers: Why Context Matters

The content and context of ASMR matter as much as the sound itself. A video that simulates a haircut or medical exam might comfort one viewer by evoking feelings of care and attention, while making another feel vulnerable or infantilized.

For example, someone who had a traumatic experience during a dental visit may find a dentist roleplay deeply triggering, regardless of its intended soothing effect. Similarly, individuals with social anxiety might feel uneasy with the illusion of one-on-one attention, interpreting it as performative or manipulative rather than caring.

Cultural background also plays a role. In cultures where direct eye contact or personal space invasion is considered rude, the close-up filming style of ASMR can feel inappropriate or invasive. Meanwhile, in individualistic societies that value self-care and mindfulness, ASMR is often embraced as a wellness practice.

Case Study: Emma and Jordan’s Opposite Reactions

Emma, a 32-year-old teacher, uses ASMR nightly to fall asleep. She finds soft-spoken female voices with gentle tapping deeply calming. “It feels like someone’s taking care of me,” she says. “After a long day of managing a classroom, it’s my reset button.”

Jordan, her brother, reacts very differently. Watching the same video makes him restless. “The whispering feels fake,” he explains. “And the slow hand movements? It’s like she’s trying too hard to be weirdly nice. I just want to turn it off.”

Their contrasting responses highlight how personal history shapes perception. Emma associates gentle tones with her grandmother reading bedtime stories. Jordan, however, grew up with a roommate who whispered late at night, keeping him awake — a memory that now colors his reaction to similar sounds.

The Misophonia Connection: When Sounds Become Unbearable

Misophonia — literally “hatred of sound” — is a condition where specific human-generated noises trigger disproportionate emotional responses, including rage, panic, or disgust. Common triggers include chewing, sniffing, pen-clicking, and throat-clearing — many of which overlap with popular ASMR content.

This creates a paradox: the very sounds designed to relax some people can enrage others. Researchers believe misophonia involves abnormal connectivity between the auditory cortex and the limbic system, causing emotional hijacking in response to mundane sounds.

A 2017 study from Newcastle University found that people with misophonia showed heightened activity in the anterior insular cortex when exposed to trigger sounds — the same region activated during ASMR, but with opposite emotional outcomes. This suggests that both phenomena involve deep emotional resonance to sound, but in opposing directions.

Feature	ASMR Responders	Misophonia Sufferers
Common Triggers	Whispering, tapping, crinkling	Chewing, breathing, typing
Emotional Response	Relaxation, comfort, euphoria	Anger, anxiety, disgust
Brain Activity	Increased mPFC, decreased amygdala	Hyperactive insula, limbic activation
Personality Traits	High openness, empathy	High neuroticism, sensory sensitivity

How to Navigate ASMR Preferences: A Practical Guide

Whether you love ASMR or can’t stand it, understanding your response can improve your well-being and relationships. Here’s how to navigate this sensory divide:

1. Self-Assess Your Reactions: Pay attention to how different sounds affect your mood and body. Do whispers make your shoulders drop or your jaw clench?
2. Respect Others’ Responses: Don’t dismiss someone’s dislike of ASMR as “being dramatic.” Their discomfort is real, even if you don’t share it.
3. Experiment Mindfully: If you’re curious but skeptical, try short sessions with non-vocal triggers like nature sounds or object tapping.
4. Avoid Forced Exposure: Never pressure someone to listen to ASMR, especially in shared spaces. Headphones are essential for public viewing.
5. Use Alternatives if Needed: If ASMR doesn’t work for you, explore other relaxation methods like binaural beats, meditation, or white noise.

Tip: Pair ASMR with dim lighting and deep breathing to enhance its calming effects — but only if you already respond positively to the sounds.

Checklist: Is ASMR Right for You?

• ☐ I enjoy soft, repetitive sounds in daily life (e.g., rain, rustling leaves)
• ☐ I’m open to unconventional relaxation techniques
• ☐ I don’t have strong negative reactions to whispering or chewing sounds
• ☐ I’m comfortable with intimate or personal-feeling audiovisual content
• ☐ I’ve tried a few ASMR videos and felt at least slightly relaxed

If you checked most of these, ASMR may be worth exploring further. If not, that’s perfectly normal — relaxation is deeply personal.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you develop a liking for ASMR over time?

Some people report growing into ASMR after repeated exposure, especially when they associate it with positive outcomes like better sleep. However, others never adapt, particularly if their aversion stems from misophonia or trauma. Patience and low-pressure exploration are key.

Is disliking ASMR a sign of a mental health issue?

No. Disliking ASMR is not a disorder. While strong negative reactions can be linked to conditions like misophonia or anxiety, many mentally healthy people simply don’t resonate with the stimuli. Preference is not pathology.

Are there any risks to listening to ASMR?

For most people, ASMR is safe. However, excessive use can lead to dependency, where someone struggles to relax without it. Additionally, immersive content may blur reality for those prone to dissociation. Moderation and self-awareness are important.

Conclusion: Embracing Sensory Diversity

The stark contrast in how people experience ASMR underscores a fundamental truth: our brains are wired differently. What soothes one mind may unsettle another. Rather than judging these differences, we should embrace them as part of human diversity.

For those who benefit from ASMR, it’s a valuable tool for managing stress and improving sleep. For those who don’t, it’s a reminder to seek out what truly works for their nervous system — whether that’s silence, music, or movement.

Understanding why ASMR divides us helps build empathy in a world increasingly shaped by digital sensory experiences. The next time someone shares their favorite ASMR video — or turns it off in frustration — remember: it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about listening — not just to the sounds, but to each other.

💬 Have a strong reaction to ASMR — positive or negative? Share your experience in the comments. Your story could help others feel less alone.